


Perhaps One Day

by tofsla



Category: Saiyuki
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-16
Updated: 2012-06-16
Packaged: 2017-11-07 21:06:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/435459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tofsla/pseuds/tofsla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Perhaps One Day

**Author's Note:**

> Written in 2008.

The trees stood as dark silhouettes against the bright white sky, leafless and still. Nothing moved except the two men making their way across the ground, and though they stepped on fallen twigs there was no noise; no sound of breathing, either.

Hakkai, a few steps ahead, turned to look back at Gojyo, and his lips moved, silently. Grey eyes tried to get meaning across, but--

No, that wasn't right. Hakkai had green eyes. Or maybe they'd been purple, once. But not grey.

There was no colour here, though, he realised, confused; black-and-white images, everything moving in stops and starts, a sequence of flick-book pictures like the ones Jien used to draw sometimes when he was bored.

Better art than Jien ever used to manage, though. His were more like stick-figures.

Gojyo closed his eyes firmly, opened them again to the same black-and-white landscape. Hakkai's lips were still moving, and Gojyo tried to follow and understand, fuck, not like he'd ever spent time learning to lip-read.

Life skills he'd never known would end up being important. Another one for a damn long list.

He shook his head; I don't understand, I can't hear you...

And Hakkai took a step closer, and another -- jolting, unreal motion -- until he was close enough to reach out his hand and comb his fingers through Gojyo's hair.

Gojyo could feel them, and the way his hair tangled around them, caught against them, but there was no warmth.

The not-warm fingers trailed down the side of his face, in across his jaw, pulled strands of his hair with them so they fell across his eyes. A colourless world viewed through a haze of red.

Hakkai's lips moved again, and this time he understood, in some undefinable way. It's red like blood. But that's actually rather a beautiful colour, too.

Don't you think? Gojyo?

My hair? Gojyo tried to ask. Or blood?

Either. Both. Does it make a difference?

Hakkai's fingers touched his lips, smooth skin and the roughness of the hair still caught against them, and Hakkai _smiled._

Everything jolted and shifted. Gojyo opened his eyes, disorientated, his heart beating too hard against his ribs.

 

It was dark, too dark for there to be much colour in the world, but he could hear the rustle of wind through leaves, could hear someone breathing close by.

Someone's fingers were pressed, warm, against his lips.

"--jyo? Gojyo, are you still...?"

"Huh?"

Things were beginning to catch up, little bits of pain, little bits of memory. Hakkai was leaning over him, one hand tracing the curves of his face, way too careful. When he breathed deeply, it hurt so much that the world began to blur again.

"Ah. Try not to move," Hakkai murmured. He was smiling, but it was shaky, uncertain. "You'll lose more blood."

"You can't--?"

"I'm afraid not. I'm not in an... ideal situation myself."

Gojyo's memory was telling him there'd been a fight. Of course there'd been a fight; that'd been the whole damn point, hadn't it? Fighting against the corruption of--

No, that wasn't it.

Things were confused in his mind. Not in the usual sort of way, either.

Fighting to stop the minus wave, and whatever other chaos had been being planned in Hontou castle. Yeah. That was it.

"Hey, Hakkai?" Gojyo asked, voice rasping, "We manage to save the damn world or not?"

"I... believe so," Hakkai told him. He was very pale, Gojyo noticed, and the hand touching his face was trembling.

"Okay. That's okay then."

We're going to die, he thought. But I guess it doesn't matter that much. It was always gonna happen, right?

Even pain wasn't really anything new. And though dying should be something utterly unknown, the more his mind slipped and slid away the more it felt like an old companion; something he'd met plenty of times before, was probably gonna meet again.

"I suppose it is," Hakkai agreed, faint.

"No regrets?"

"I'm not sure. Perhaps one or two. I..."

Lips brushed against his, uncertain. Gojyo gave a little sigh, opened his mouth, inviting; no point to denial any more, if there ever really was. Hakkai didn't taste quite how he'd imagined; sharper, maybe. Blood on his lips. His own?

Yeah, probably.

They lay together, drifting further and further, touching each other cautiously; just looking for contact, warmth. Maybe for something else, too, that Gojyo had always wanted and never even been able to define.

It felt like stepping into the unknown, off the edge of the map, and not because his life was fading away.

Hakkai's lips moved, and Gojyo couldn't really hear, but he thought it was something like _maybe next time._

Yeah. Next time.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Kiss Me Like We Die Tonight (The Beautiful Day Remix)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1453768) by [inksheddings](https://archiveofourown.org/users/inksheddings/pseuds/inksheddings)




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